"Iracema" and Saudade

"The young warrior, leaning against the mast, raises his eyes, which are fixed upon the fleeting outline of the shadowy shore.  From time to time his sight becomes dim, and a tear fall upon the Giráo bnech, where frolic the two innocents, the companions of his misfortune.

But whilst thou sailest thus at the mercy of the winds, graceful barque, waft back to that white beach some of the yearning (saudade) that accompanies thee, but which may not leave the land to which it returns" (Iracema pg 7-8)

This part of the story, though at the very beginning, really spoke to me of some very strong emotions.  Not knowing exactly what the story was about when I read this I put my own experiences to it and translated those emotions as being: regret, a yearning to go back to happier days, a terrible longing, and admitted defeat-that going back is not possible and all that is left is for one to move on with the next stage in life.

This first took my mind to a poem that we recently read and discussed in my Portuguese literature class by Gonçalves Dia called, "Canção do Exílio".  He wrote it through the eyes of Dom Pedro II.  I am not going to include all of it (mainly because I don't think that most of you speak Portuguese, and it goes kind of long...) but here goes:

Minha terra tem palmeiras,

Onde canta o Sabiá;

As aves, que aqui gorjeiam,

Não gorjeiam como lá.

Não permita Deus que eu morra,

Sem que eu volte para lá;

Sem que desfrute of primores

Que não encontro por cá;

Sem qu'inda aviste as palmeiras,

Onde canta o Sabiá.

So this is the first and last of the poem, and basically it is just him comparing where he is now to where he used to be-which in this case is comparing the beautiful and wonderful Brazil, to Portugal.  The poem goes on to describe how the birds don't sing in Portugal like they do in Brazil, and that Brazil has more stars, more trees, more flowers and more love than Portugal.  In the end he is saying that God will not let him die without returning to his land, he land that has palm trees and where the Sabiá (the bird to the right) sings.

This is a video that records the sound that the Sabiá makes as it sings if you are interested in hearing what it sounds like.

The last thing that this quote makes me thing of is how we need to press forward and keep going in life.  Like I mentioned earlier, there is a sort of defeat admitted, the acknowledgement that you can't go back and so you need to press forward.  This reminded me the the song by Andy Grammar "Keep your Head up" because he mentions that no matter what life throws your way you need to keep going.  One line of his song says, "Only rainbows after rain, the sun will always come again," and that applies to life. 

 We will always have good times to look back on and to hold, but they are in the past and it does us no good to pine after them and long for them to come back.  Remembering and reminiscing are great, but do you want to miss the rainbows that have yet to come by dwelling in the past instead of paying attention to the future?

9/11/12 The Fall of Tenochtitlan

One night as the Spaniard armies were close enough to the city to see the human sacrifices that the Aztecs were making with the captured Spaniards and their allies an interesting parallel pops up.

The Spaniards are saying this: "thank God they are not carrying me off to be sacrificed...we were not far away from them, yet we could render them no help, and could only pray to God to guard us from such a death.

On the other hand the Aztecs were circling about them declaring this, "Look, that is the way in which you will all have to die, for our gods have promised it to us many times" (Victors and Vanquised pp 207).

This chapter reminded me of this song from "Pocahontas", both sides see the other as savages, people who must be killed and defeated.  The captain for the Virginia Company says that since the Indians are not like them it means they must be evil.  I think that a lot of the bad feelings between the Aztecs and the Spaniards is a lack of understanding between the two cultures.

"In addition to this, when the Christians were exhausted from the war, God saw fit to send the Indians smallpox, and there was a great pestilence in the city because there were so many people there, especially women, and they had nothing more to eat" (Victors and Vanquished pp 198).

Both sides have their religion which is supporting them and sustaining them throughout the conflict.  It is interesting that religion would be something to spur people on to battle, yet we see it time after time throughout history.  We all feel like we know what is best for one another and that no one else is right.

A super important life lesson that we all need to learn is to try and see from another perspective, take a look through their eyes as this song says.  There is a quote that says, "Before you get mad at someone walk a mile in their shoes" and I think it is a good thing to do.  We are all quick to judge, it is human nature to make a first impression of someone.  However, it is then our choice whether we let that cloud our judgement or if we try and really get to know the real them. 

Obviously with the Spaniards and the Aztecs there were a lot of factors coming into play such as religion, conquest, gold and power.  It is sad to see what happened to an entire civilization because of these things.  It was basically destroyed



9/5/12 Identity Crisis

"The details of the image formed of us often vary with the spectator, but it is always an ambiguous if not contradictory image: we are insecure, and our repsonses, like our silences are unexpected and unpredictable.  Treachery, loyalty, crime and love hide out in the depths of our glance.  We attract and repel" (Paz pg 65).

" The modern worker lacks individuality.  The class is stronger than the individual and his personality dissolves in the generic" (Paz pg 67).

One of our favorite Disney characters goes through this very identity crisis.  When we look in the mirror, what do we see?  How does the rest of the world view us?  Should we conform to what they expect or should we be who we are on the inside?

Who are we?  How are we really defined?  Are we the product of the stereotypes of others?  Are we defined by society?  Or do our personalities get lost in the group?  Paz goes on here to describe that the Mexicans of today all started from the 'rape' of Dona Malinche and that it has negative connotations.  He describes women as objects and then reveres them.  Then what is a woman?  What am I?

This song reminds me of the heartfelt question, "Who am I?"  This really brings me back to Octavio Paz's musings on solitude.  That point in time when we realize that other people actually have their own lives, when they are not with us they are able to have fun, they laugh, they create inside jokes and life goes on. 

In their song "Super Trooper" the group ABBA has a line that says "Facing 20,000 of your fans, how can anyone be so lonely?" We often feel our most lonely when we are surrounded by people.  How is that even possible?  Yet, somehow, it is and somehow we let ourselves feel excluded.

Throughout this chapter Paz describes the Mexican people as the sons of Malinche, and yet in class we had a few people speak up and mention that this was not their background, they felt that they had not come from this history.  Also Professor Mack mentioned the one group of Mexicans that still refuse to acknowledge any kind of defeat and take their own control by blocking the water supplies.

 

From these people we learn that we make or own destiny.  Yes, the past is, and always will be, a part of us.  It defines our societies and certain aspects of our lives.  At the same time, we are the masters of our own destiny, we choose who we are so it is up to us to shape the future.  Let us all "dream the impossible dream...[and] reach the unreachable star" in our lives and in our desires. 

From Walt Disney we learn that anything is possible, after all Disney Land and the Disney empire all started with a dream and a mouse.

Labyrinth of Solitute and Encounters

It was really cool to be able to read  so many different accounts of when the Spaniards first came and the reaction that the Indians had to them.  It was good to be able to see it from different perspectives, through letters and entries.  "Moteuccoma did this because he took them for gods, considered them gods, worshipped them as gods" (pg 98, par 4). I've heard before that the Indians thought the Spaniards were the white god that had been prophesied to come, but in the last story it really shows that they did, indeed, think this to some extent.  I can see from both points of view, when the Indians did sacrifices and put blood on the food for Cortez and his men to eat, they honestly thought that they were respecting them and showing them their great status.  From the other point of view, the Spaniards had no idea why they were doing it, all they knew is that suddenly their delicious meal was covered in the fresh blood of some other person. "and [the emissaries] sprinkled blood in the food, they bloodied it, which made their stomachs turn and disgusted them, because of the great stench of the blood" (pg 98, par 3). That would definitely make me lose my appetite.
     The bit that we read from "Labyrinth of Solitute" was super interesting.  I was totally caught up in the first part of it talking about solitude and how we come to that state.  "Death and birth are solitary experiences.  we are born alone and we die alone" (pg. 196 par.2).  When you think about it, you do have people around you for those moments in your life, but ultimately you are passing through them alone.  Those people cannot feel your pain, your fear, your acceptance.  Your emotions are your own and you alone can bear the situation.  He also mentions the adolescent.  There is a definite difference in a child and a teenager.  It goes along with the changes in your body, graduating elementary school and moving to bigger schools, more student body and more things to worry about.  I definitely saw a lot of the solitude side of me when  I was in Jr. High and High School.  You just feel so lost, so alone in the world.  I feel like, for the most part, Octavio has a very good knowledge of human emotions and

Pink Dolphins!

The Amazon is amazing!  Today we all loaded up into a boat and went to one of the most boring places in the world.  So this place, it is out in the middle of nowhere and we ride up to these lame, floating houses.  There we all get off the boat, wade down into this water that made our skin look the color of an oompa loompa, and then we all yawned as these two guys used some fish to lure dolphins out of the water and, unfortunately, they made us touch them.  Can you think of anything lamer than that?  Well I sure hope so because it was the most amazing experience ever!  

So the dolphins here have a pink tone to them, I heard that it has something to do with their diet, kind of like flamingos.  They also look a little bit different than the cute little grey ones we are used to seeing.  Some might say that they are a little ugly, but those people are merely judging these beautiful creatures.  They do look a little funky, but I still got to swim with them, rub their bellies and touch them with my feet!  It was not quite like swimming with the dolphins at say, Seaworld, or something, because these dolphins are wild and the river is their home.  They are not the tame pets that will jump through hoops 

 and do tricks on command, they are aaallll natural.  It was kind of freaky at first, walking into the funky colored water with these weird looking dolphins, what if they attacked or something?  But then it was awesome!

 This lovely lady is Sofia, she is pregnant and was one of the pinkest dolphins that we were able to touch and swim with.  What a beauty!

When we finished swimming with the dolphins we got out and they gave everyone one of these necklaces.  They have a scale at the bottom that is from one of the biggest fish in the river...I don't remember what it is called but pretty cool.

For the record, he is wearing a speedo underneath his leaves...but I love shot because you sure can't tell can you?!

 We also got to go and visit an Indian tribe today, let's just say it was quite the cultural experience as apparently the women in that tribe don't wear tops...awkward!  But it is just part of the culture so what can one do?  It was really cool though seeing their dances to celebrate the harvest and good catches at sea, to take pictures with the chief and to learn about their culture.

Just a picture of us with the Chief, he was old, and really cool.  Michelle is my roommate currently and is in the shot with me, cute!

Before we left I went with Shawndeen and had the chief paint our faces.  I also bought this earring and the green necklace to support them-so fun!

Welcome to the Jungle

    

  Holy crow!!!  today was basically one of the best days of my life, for reals.  We are in the Amazon.  We flew out of Fortaleza yesterday, we had to get up before 3am in order to get there in time for our flight-super gag, but Manaus totally makes up for it.  We stayed one night in the actual city, went and had a tour of the theater, walked to the pier and looked through a bunch of booths at the fair they had set up.  

Then today we set out for the actual jungle experience and oh boy, has it been a doozey so far.  We got here by boat, it was about a 20 minute boat ride from the mainland and city to our isolated little hotel (which, by the way, was closed for about three months this summer because the water was so high that they were flooded out, luckily it was down and the hotel remodeled and fixed by the time we got here or I don't know what we would have done).  It is super cute, it is right off the river and by a swamp kind of thing that has at least two 

 caimen-that is what they call them here anyway, kind of like a small alligator-that lives in the swamp, and the houses you stay in are located around it.  You have to walk over a boardwalk type thing, the wooden walkways built over water, to get to our rooms.  The houses are built on stilts and so have water underneath them and they are just super cute.

 

They met us on the dock with a big glass of Brazilian juice and that just hit the spot and set the mood right there for the rest of our stay.

    Ok, now we are going to get into the really good stuff.  After having time to play in the pool and rest up a bit, we went out fishing for piranas, so exciting!  On our boat we had Vanessa and her kids-Marcello, Felipe, Danilo and Natalia, as well as Joe, Cristina and I.  Basically we had the coolest driver and guide ever.  The spot they took us to was hopping with fish, we caught around 30 fish all together, mostly piranas, but a few sardines.  I caught 6 all on my own, well one or two were sardines but it was still cool.  They gave us fishing poles that were made from bamboo and then a cup of raw meat, kind of 

  gross but perfect for what we were trying to catch.  At first Marcelo was like, the only one catching anything, and poor Joe only caught one the entire time, but Felipe ended up catching the biggest ones, Vanessa caught the most Sardines, and I myself caught 6 like I said.  Numbers 4 and 5 were a little bit sassy, one of them might have been a sardine, but the fact of the matter is that while I was trying to have my picture taken with them, they decided to jump of the hook and flop around my feet!  The funny part was that most of those fish I caught while I was not paying 

 attention.  I was super busy trying to take a picture of the amazing sunset, take a picture of Natalia with her catch or someone else, and that is when I would feel my pole start to take off!  Basically they thought they were pulling a fast one over on me but boy were they wrong.  It was amazing, the Amazon is just gorgeous and the place where we were fishing, it was beautiful.  It was definitely very relaxing to be in that location just lounging around fishing.  He put all of our fish on a line, it turned into a pretty cool looking necklace.  They are going to make a soup out of them that we will get to eat tomorrow, how amazing is that, I actually caught my own dinner...which was a pirana!

 

Once it started to get dark we gave up on fishing and went searching for Caimen.  Our guide had a light that he was scanning the vegetation with because when light hits their eyes they glow.  It was the coolest thing just cruising on a river, in the Amazon, in the dark scanning for these guys.  Our guide finally saw one so they slowly took the boat over, he leaned over the front, and just snagged it right out of the water!  It was super cool to see, our very own Caiman.  We named him Elmer, till the guide informed us that she was actually a girl, then I think Danilo renamed

 her Betty.  We all got to take turns holding her and getting our pictures taken-this place is phenomenal.  Our boat was awesome, I am pretty sure we caught the most fish out of anyone and we are the only ones that caught a caiman, so of course we kept him on the boat and showed him to all the others and let them take pictures, which was cool, but I am so glad I was on the boat that actually caught it because it was a lot of fun to see. 

     After we handed Betty over to another boat we started towards home, still searching for more.  And we found one.  When we found Betty, I didn't know what was going to happen exactly until they already had her on the boat, but with the next one I was prepared.  We had an awesome angle where you could actually see the eye glowing as we slowly road up to it.  It was legit, just this bright, glowing thing in the night.  Anyway, our guide went to try and catch it, but then jumped back-apparently it was over 2 meters long...however long that is, but it must have been too much for him to handle.  Anyway, all in all I was in the best boat and we had the absolute time of our lives!

When we got back to the hotel we found a frog in the bathroom, he was pretty big too.  Someone named him Tom, as in Peeping Tom, seeings how he was in the girls bathroom and all.  Then I got back to my room and Michelle was already here all upset because she could've sworn that she heard a plop in the toilet when she got back and was pretty sure she saw a little frogy and he was hiding in our toilet.  Well, what can you do?  She didn't want to flush him, but she needed to use the facilities and we couldn't find it anyway to prove if it really was there, so I flushed it, and out of the hole part in the front-I think it reduces water when you flush it, anyway, something shot out of that and then was flushed so poor Michelle lost her pet frog :(

    So that is the beginning of my trip to the Amazon, hope you enjoyed it even 1/16 of what I did because that would make you so happy.

Come Sail Away

So, last...Thursday maybe, or Wednesday we went on a daylong boat ride out to two different islands off the coast of Salvador and they were just beautiful.  The first one we were able to get in some good beach volleyball time.  My team was struggling and that might be the reason why, but I was actually not doing too poorly :) Then I got a little bit of time to swim and it was pretty cool because there were these little fish in the water that would come and nibble at your fingers and toes.  Apparently I am not the right flavor because there was only one little fish who tried to nibble on me, then he warned the rest to stay away because I tasted vile.  Everyone else got quite nibbled over.  Maybe I should try swimming with the sharks one day to see if I am appealing to them.  It is kind of disheartening to know that if I were to drown in the ocean I would not become fish food because they don't like me, I mean, how would that make you feel?  I feel just downright undesirable and plain now, they just shot my self confidence and self esteem right out the window.  It has taken years to get it to where it was, not I have to start all over again, oh bother.
    Well, if I come home all depressed and unhappy with life at least you know who to blame and you can remedy the situation by taking a fishing trip to Salvador and getting rid of all those dratted fish!

 This is the little band that was playing on our boat ride.  They were a lot of fun and played fun Portuguese songs, I didn't know any of the words, but I tried because he was leading us along and trying to get us to sing with him-it was a blast, that would be like the best job ever!

And we had an awesome sunset to finish off the day just as we were pulling back into Salvador.  We also saw some flying fish or something cool like that.  Michelle, Cristina and I sat up on the prow for the entire trip, there and back, we absolutely loved it out in the sun, feeling the wind in our hair.  It was glorious!